When our elder daughter completed 4, my husband and I started feeling, she need a companion, a sibling. This feeling grew deeper by the time she completed 5. We discussed about it, and both of us had the same opinion, whether it's a girl or boy, we need a second child. But, I had a gut feeling that it would be a girl. Sixth sense!
When I conceived, all the symptoms were similar to the first pregnancy. I was sure it's a girl. I was excited to give a sister to my daughter. A friend for life. While growing up, I always wanted a sister and missed having one. I have friends who share a great bond with their sisters even after marriage. But I was equally ready to welcome a boy. Children are real blessings from God, but does the gender matter?
After facing multiple health problems during pregnancy including dengue, the only concern was the baby's health. My little angel was born and when I was told it's a girl, I was like, "I knew it!". I was happy and proud and got new energy. She was healthy as I had wished.
Soon, I was shifted to the labour ward again before I was alloted a room. The lady on the bed next to me was pregnant with her third child (she already had a girl and a boy) and was from a remote village, whom I had befriended a day before my delivery. She asked, "Which baby?", I replied "Girl".
Immediately she asked whether I had got a family planning operation done. I said, "No". She said, "Good, conceive again, definitely, it will be a boy next time!". I couldn't control my laughter and asked, "Are you kidding?". I felt she is crazy.
But, never in my wildest dreams had I ever imagined, people would sympathize with me for having 2 girls and I will get to hear, "Conceive again, definitely it will be a boy next time" many times!! And this comes from everyone regardless of whether they are educated or uneducated, urban or rural, modern or conservative.
When my first daughter was born, no one had sympathised with me. But yes, one close relative, who was damn sure it would be a boy, was heartbroken, deeply disappointed and felt depressed. This close relative was too much worried about the amount of gold baby's father has to buy during his daughter's marriage and hence suggested some of the other close relatives who visited the hospital to see the baby, to gift the baby with the gold coins on her first birthday. Yes, you heard that right!! You can imagine the reactions when I had my second baby girl.
I went to my mother's house for post-delivery care for the second time. It's a small town where people are caring, helping but also speak their mind without hesitation. Here I had to encounter many people who sympathised with me.
When I returned back from mother's house, a few old ladies of our neighbourhood sympathised with me. One of them had her daughter in-law's due date in a few weeks and she delivered a boy, the first one was a girl. The old lady was jumping with joy and was sharing the good news with everyone on the road. I was returning from a walk. She saw me and I noticed she was a bit uncomfortable, she didn't share the news with me. I tried going towards her saying "congrats auntie" but she immediately left. She didn't even make eye contact. I was surprised, it was not her usual behaviour. Maybe, she didn't know that I had already got the news from the WhatsApp group and had sent best wishes to the baby and the mother. Meanwhile, in the night when my husband went for a walk, the guilt stuck lady met him and shared the good news and lied that as she didn't meet me, she couldn't give me the news. I wondered, what she might have thought? Being a mother of 2 girls I am cribbing for not having a boy? And feel bad or jealous if someone else have? That day I understood, even these kind of people exist.
Surprisingly, being a short-tempered person, I never got angry when I encountered all these situations and only felt pity for their mentality. Many times, found it funny and laughed at their foolishness and ignorance. I have only 1 message for all of them, "Grow up!".
When I conceived, all the symptoms were similar to the first pregnancy. I was sure it's a girl. I was excited to give a sister to my daughter. A friend for life. While growing up, I always wanted a sister and missed having one. I have friends who share a great bond with their sisters even after marriage. But I was equally ready to welcome a boy. Children are real blessings from God, but does the gender matter?
After facing multiple health problems during pregnancy including dengue, the only concern was the baby's health. My little angel was born and when I was told it's a girl, I was like, "I knew it!". I was happy and proud and got new energy. She was healthy as I had wished.
Soon, I was shifted to the labour ward again before I was alloted a room. The lady on the bed next to me was pregnant with her third child (she already had a girl and a boy) and was from a remote village, whom I had befriended a day before my delivery. She asked, "Which baby?", I replied "Girl".
But, never in my wildest dreams had I ever imagined, people would sympathize with me for having 2 girls and I will get to hear, "Conceive again, definitely it will be a boy next time" many times!! And this comes from everyone regardless of whether they are educated or uneducated, urban or rural, modern or conservative.
When my first daughter was born, no one had sympathised with me. But yes, one close relative, who was damn sure it would be a boy, was heartbroken, deeply disappointed and felt depressed. This close relative was too much worried about the amount of gold baby's father has to buy during his daughter's marriage and hence suggested some of the other close relatives who visited the hospital to see the baby, to gift the baby with the gold coins on her first birthday. Yes, you heard that right!! You can imagine the reactions when I had my second baby girl.
I went to my mother's house for post-delivery care for the second time. It's a small town where people are caring, helping but also speak their mind without hesitation. Here I had to encounter many people who sympathised with me.
- The reaction of the housemaid who has 3 sons and always claims she misses having a daughter, "You should have had an heir for the family". My mother mocked her saying, "It's ok if they don't have an heir, theirs is not a royal family like yours". She sheepishly smiled. While going back, she didn't forget to console me and assured, "Next time it will be a boy!". I laughed at her innocence.
- The reaction of a neighbour auntie who came to borrow something from my mom, "Oh 2 girls now? Soooo sad! Poor girl(me)", sighed and left. I wondered, how can a lady in her 50's who doesn't have children, understand the unconditional love showered by a baby, no matter girl or boy? I laughed at her ignorance.
- My mom's childhood friend's reaction was a bit melodramatic, "Oh no! How can it happen? It should have been a boy, so sad!". Mom and I often recall it and laugh.
- After a few months, I went for a walk carrying the baby, accompanied by my elder daughter. We passed by one of my school friend's house. Her mom was standing outside. She asked me very loudly, "Are these both your kids?" I nodded. Then came the epic question, "Have you got a family planning operation done?". Her voice was so loud that a few pedestrians and those going by two-wheelers turned towards us, her neighbour peeped through the window and I was dumbstruck! I felt she should definitely go for election campaigning. I laughed at her foolishness.
- Visited my tailor after a long time. His wife's reaction after knowing about 2 girls was "A minute of silence". It was evident that she was searching for words to console me. "Don't worry nowadays girls are no less", she smiled sheepishly. I too gave a fake smile.
When I returned back from mother's house, a few old ladies of our neighbourhood sympathised with me. One of them had her daughter in-law's due date in a few weeks and she delivered a boy, the first one was a girl. The old lady was jumping with joy and was sharing the good news with everyone on the road. I was returning from a walk. She saw me and I noticed she was a bit uncomfortable, she didn't share the news with me. I tried going towards her saying "congrats auntie" but she immediately left. She didn't even make eye contact. I was surprised, it was not her usual behaviour. Maybe, she didn't know that I had already got the news from the WhatsApp group and had sent best wishes to the baby and the mother. Meanwhile, in the night when my husband went for a walk, the guilt stuck lady met him and shared the good news and lied that as she didn't meet me, she couldn't give me the news. I wondered, what she might have thought? Being a mother of 2 girls I am cribbing for not having a boy? And feel bad or jealous if someone else have? That day I understood, even these kind of people exist.
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