When Kids Fall Sick Together

During normal days, my house is a mess with toys scattered everywhere on the floor, sofa and bed. The toys travel all over from the living room to the kitchen and even to the bathroom. You may topple if you do not walk carefully. In fact on the sofa, there wouldn't be any place to sit for human beings as all the dolls in the house would be proudly sitting there. The school books will be on the floor, school bag on another sofa, drawing sheets turned rockets flying in the air. At any point of time, either I will be yelling or the elder one shouting or the younger one screaming. So the house looks like a fish market. If I get to know that any guests are coming, the first thing I need to do is "mission mess clearance".

My elder daughter completes 7 years this October and the younger one completes 1 year in the same month. I try my best to discipline the elder one, anyways the baby doesn't understand anything right now. I have made some set of rules for the house, but rules are made to be broken. I always insist the elder one to keep the things in its place after using, but it is never done until I yell at her. The deadline would be before she goes to the bed. But most of the times, I end up doing it myself. Anyways the baby's things also I have to keep aside. 

But, this scene completely changes when one of them or worst, both of them fall ill. The house becomes silent, but looses it's charm as the kids would be suffering. Then I realise that a messy house indicates healthy and happy kids. It is very painful to see them when they are not well. I miss the naughty smile on their faces, their scream and the laughter and strangely, the mess too.

I am a "new" second time mom and lately have realised that once the virus enters the house, it gifts the infection to everyone in the house before vanishing. As the elder one goes to the school, goes out to play, she gets infected first, then the baby and by the time both of them are fine, I fall sick.

The most common illness every time for them is cold, cough and fever. Sometimes it becomes severe like throat infection and congestion as well. It makes them miserable for few days. With no proper food intake, both would lose weight and become weak.

I try to keep them away from each other when one of them is ill so that I can avoid the transmission of infection, but fail. The elder one wants to cuddle and kiss her baby sister all the time and the baby goes in her walker to the big sister to wake her up whenever she is sleeping. 

Before the second child was born, it was only a one time visit to the doctor whenever my daughter fell ill. My husband and I would take leave alternatively for two days and would extend if required which was very rare. During the night, one of us would keep alarm to give medicines in the midnight or in the early morning. She would become fine in 2-3 days and we ourself never got infected from her.

Now after the second one is born, both of them fall ill one after the other or together on the same day. Doctor visit is never one time now. Sometimes morning I have taken one and evening another to the clinic. Sometimes together. Now to give the medicines, both of us need to keep alarms one for each kid. And by the end of this cycle even we fall sick. By the time everyone recovers, two weeks would be over. 

As I am a SAHM now after the second baby, the trouble of taking leave from work doesn't exist. Earlier, it would be very difficult for me to get even a single day of leave. Now I wonder, with both the kids falling ill so frequently, how I would have managed with one day off. 

Finally, I would like to say that kids have more will power than elders. Once they are little well, they bounce back and start their routine of mischiefs again. They completely forget how much they suffered and move on. Thus my house comes to life again and it goes on! 

The Forgotten Games Of Our Childhood

The kids of our road were screaming. I peeped through the window and could see them playing with their football. It was only for 15 minutes and after that there was a pin drop silence in the road. They had already got bored and vanished. The kids either play football or do cycling. Sometimes I see them playing cricket or shuttle cock. Most of the time I see them talking, gossiping (Yes they do gossip about their friends, teachers and even parents!). Soon they start fighting and disperse. I always wonder, there are so many outdoor games which we used to play in our childhood, why don't these kids play such games! It will be a good exercise for their body, they will never get bored as well. Here are some of the games which we used to play in our childhood.

Run and catch - There are several variations of run and catch. 

1. Run and catch - One kid has to catch anyone from the group of kids who are running. Now the kid who is caught has to catch anyone from the group, and it goes on. 
2. Chain_cut - Two kids form a chain. A player is chosen who has to catch another player who has not formed a chain. So if there are 6 kids, one of them is denner and out of 5 there will be at least one player who is not in the chain. Kids keep running and form different chains and denner has to catch the one who is not in the chain.
3. Tomato - Same as the first method but the kid who is running can place hand on his head and shout 'tomato' loud. Now the denner can't catch him. 
4. Hop and catch - One of the players will hop using one leg and folding the other and catch the other players.
5. Blindfold and catch - One of the players will be blindfolded and has to catch other players who are running.

Fire in the mountain - One of the players stands in the middle and sings 'fire in the mountain'. The remaining kids run around him forming a circle signing 'run run run'. This continues for 'n' number of times and suddenly the player in the center says 'statue'. The one who makes movement is out or become the center player in the next round.

Stone or sand - One player will be a denner and chooses one element (stone or sand) and others should not stand on that chosen element. If they stand on it and denner catches, that player will be the next denner.

River or Bank - Some divider is chosen by the leader. The leader explains that one side of the line is the "river" and the other side of the line is the "bank". It is essential to be at the right spot at the right time. The facilitator then shouts out one of two commands - "river" or "bank" and the players must jump accordingly. If a player jumps when they are not supposed to, they are eliminated from the game. 

Four Stone - It requires four independent boxes to be drawn on the ground. One player each stands in the four boxes and tries to take the four stones placed at the centre without being caught by the chaser in the game.

Skipping rope games - Like run and catch, there are many variations of skipping rope game

1. Scissor jumps - Land with one foot forward, then on the next jump switch feet
2. Cross jumps - Land with feet crossed like an X, then apart, then crossed again
3. Duckie - Land with heels apart, toes and knees pointed in; then on next jump, put heels together and toes and knees pointed out
4. Swing - Land on one foot and swing the opposite leg out to the side, then switch on next jump
5. Snake - Have one person hold it at each end and wave it gently along the ground like a slithering snake, while other players attempt to jump over it. Take turns being the jumper and the snake-mover.

We also played other games like playing with the wooden top (lattoo), marbles, cycle tyre, glass bangle pieces, rubber ring, discus, etc., The other most played games were gilli danda, lagori, hide and seek, hopscotch, even shuttle cock and cricket.

We also used to play a lot of indoor games like different variations of hand-clapping game, board games like parcheesi, kanna dudi/chowka bhara, snake and ladder, ludo, carrom, chess, chinese checker, card games like rummy, mongoose, donkey, set, tenga, papad, etc., Pencil and paper games like name place animal things, joining the dots, thief police, tic-tac-toe etc., Also memory games, treasure hunt etc.,

All these games are on the verge of extinction. Even today's generation kids know some of the games mentioned above like hide and seek, hopscotch and may be few more, but you hardly see them playing those games. I have introduced most of the indoor games and some of the outdoor games to my daughter but she rarely plays those games. In fact one of our neighbor took initiative and taught lagori to the kids of our road. But they played it only for 2 days. 

May be 80s and early 90s born was the last generations to play outdoor and indoor games actively as they didn't have other distractions like television and smartphones. We used to play day and night without getting bored during vacations. When there was school, we played during lunch hour, and even in the evenings till it becomes pitch dark. All such games made our childhood more memorable.

The current generation kids have too many distractions, don't want to take the physical pain of playing outdoor and get bored playing indoor. They loose interest too fast in everything and can't bear each other for a long time. 

I wish I could go back in time, play all these games and live my childhood all over again!

Smartphone Addiction In Grandparents

Mr. Sharma gave a perplexed look, "What is the need of this Meera? I already have a phone", he said.

Meera: "Dad it's a smartphone. Now you can make video calls and talk to your grandson, pay bills sitting at home, book tickets, and what not!"

Mr.Sharma: "But Meera, I am happy with my old phone. This one looks expensive and moreover, I don't know how to use it!"

Meera: "It's my gift to your 60th birthday dad. Don't worry, I will help you."

It's been a year since Mr. Sharma has started using his smartphone. Now he chats with his friends and relatives in WhatsApp, downloads each and every video and image and forwards it to everyone, has accounts in Facebook, Twitter. In Instagram he checks pictures of his grandson. He also likes playing games, listening to old movie songs, browsing through different online shopping sites and so on. When he is at home, most of the time he is hooked to his phone. 

This has been the case with many elderly people nowadays. It seems no one is spared from the addiction of smartphones. The increasing use of smartphones in elderly people may be due to multiple reasons.

• The lonely feeling

Once the children move out for education, job or after marriage, the older people starts feeling lonely. They may start spending a lot of time with their smartphone. It becomes a great escape for them.

• To keep in touch

Many people use it to keep in touch with their children and grandchildren as smartphones and the internet are the most used way of communication medium today.

• Boredom

60 is the retirement age in most of the professions. People who were busy all their life working hard and earning for the family, after retirement starts feeling bored. Even those who stayed at home looking after kids, suddenly becomes free once kids moves out for multiple reasons. Smartphone helps them to get away from boredom.

• Information

Many of them use it to grab abundance of information available in the internet related to different topics and keep themselves updated.

• Why the youngsters have all the fun

The technology has been developing fast since 90s. So, many elderly people didn't have the privilege to use even computers during their time. Now as they have got time, money or chance to use its miniature, they are in no mood to stop.

• Curiosity

When everyone including their children and grandchildren children are hooked to smartphones, out of curiosity, many start using it and get glued to it.

There is nothing wrong in using smartphones provided the usage is limited to certain extent otherwise it causes several health hazards. Of course, this applies to everyone.

Now at many houses, the parents don't use smartphones much in front of their kids to keep them out of it. But they find it difficult when the grandparents uses it and worst, addicted to it. Of course, we cannot expect grandparents to get engaged with their grandchildren all the time. They need their 'me' time too. But the responsible usage of smartphone is the need of the hour.

Have 2 Kids Before 30

Having 1,2 or no kids is one's personal choice. But if you are planning to have 2 kids in life, better to have it before 30. The number may seem too early for many. It is true that during our mom's generation, they would get married between 18-21 and by 25 they had 2-3 kids. The 80s born, many would have got married between 22-26 and have 2 kids by early 30s. The 90s born are not in a hurry to get married and have all the valid reasons for the delay, which in turn delays their pregnancy. Of course, in today's modern world, the technology has developed so much that you can have the baby even at the age of 60. You can freeze your eggs or go for an artificial insemination, IVF or surrogacy and many more options are available.

But! Is motherhood only about having the baby? Definitely not. Motherhood is a journey. You have to be with your kids physically, mentally and emotionally throughout their childhood and at least till they become completely independent. Our kids need us the most till they complete their basic education. Once they get into the job, they become independent and may not need us as much as they did before. 

My mother always says that, physically she is not as strong as my grandmother. And I feel I am not as strong as my mother. So if I have my first child at 40 and second one at 45, by the time they complete 20, I will be 60 plus. And I might need someone to look after me.  There are many people who initially feel 1 kid is enough for them and have it before 30 but later change their minds for multiple reasons and have the second baby after 30. They might realise that during their first pregnancy they were physically much stronger and there were lesser complications. They wouldn't have faced certain health issues during first pregnancy which they did in the second.

Here are some of the drawbacks of having the baby(first or second) after 30

• Increased risk of chromosomal abnormalities in the baby. 

The risk of chromosomal abnormality increases with maternal age. The chance of having a child affected by Down syndrome increases from about 1 in 1,250 for a woman who conceives at age 25, to about 1 in 100 for a woman who conceives at age 40. It is possible that risks may be higher as many statistics only report live births.

• Increased risk of miscarriage

There is higher chance of miscarriage (early pregnancy loss) in older mothers. When considering all women, about half of first trimester miscarriages happen because of a chromosomal abnormality in the fetus. Because these abnormalities increase with maternal age, miscarriage is also more likely. 

• Fertility falls after 30

A woman’s body goes through various physical and hormonal changes after the age of 30. And with each passing year, there is a decline in her fertility rate.

• Risk of childbirth complications

Possibility of a cesarean birth rises due to fetal distress or prolonged pushing stage, which are more common in women post 30.

• Pre-existing health conditions leads to complications

Problems like Thyroid, high blood pressure, diabetes, kidney problems and heart problems also complicate the late pregnancy, thus risking the baby’s life.

Many women may feel that having 2 kids early may affect their career. But it might not be always true. Nowadays there is complete support for working moms in the family and at the organization. 

Here are some of the positive things 

•Many organizations have increased the duration of maternity leave. 

•One can take a sabbatical. 

•Some organizations allow you to quit and rejoin. 

•Few companies give work from home for 2-3 days of the week.

We can see many successful working women around us who had 2 Kids before 30 and after that they could concentrate completely on career. Kids and career both are important. But definitely you should have kids at the right age as our biological clock will be ticking. 

Delivery During Dengue

Only 10 days were left for my due date when me, my husband and mother in-law(MIL) got fever one after the other. It was a constant 104°F fever, shivering and heavy body pain for us. Initially, diagnosed as viral fever, when the platelet count and dengue test were done, it turned out to be a dengue positive for us except MIL. Hers was viral fever. 
In my second pregnancy, from the beginning, I had to deal with many health issues. After facing all those problems when finally I was counting days for delivery, "Dengue" came as a shock. I started praying for my baby.

Platelet count is a major concern during dengue. It decreases very fast. The normal range is between 1.5 lakhs and 4.5 lakhs. Mine had reduced from 2.75 lakhs to 1.25 lakhs.
I was admitted to the maternity hospital. They gave me only paracetamol in drips as antibiotics affects the baby. Baby's heart beat and movements were constantly monitored. I was advised to take a lot of fluids and fruits. The hospital was one of the oldest and was famous for normal delivery. But the doctors, nurses and majority of the staff were very rude. The nurses wouldn't check properly for the veins and would mercilessly pierce multiple times while collecting the blood samples. The duty doctor without checking me said, "Enjoy the fever. We can't give antibiotics as it affects the baby. Anyways fever will not cross the placenta, so the baby is safe". The head gynecologist whom I was consulting never came for rounds.

Meanwhile, my husband was admitted in another hospital where one of my cousins was working. My MIL in spite of having fever, looked after my husband; my parents were with me and my elder daughter who luckily didn't get fever, was looked after by relatives. 

My condition was becoming worse. Platelet count was not tracked properly. When my mother reminded them, the doctor shouted at her saying, "We know our job". After 2 days, the count was 29k. Below 25k is dangerous and below 10k internal bleeding starts. Now they said, "if you want, you can take her to some other hospital", indicating that they can't take risk. Immediately I was shifted to the hospital where my husband was admitted and was given platelets donated by my cousin and for 2 more days, reserved platelets available in the blood bank. My husband came to see me. Both of us were in the hospital uniform; it was so painful to see each other. Luckily he was recovering fast. 

Once my count increased to 75k, the doctor told she can't do c-section because when there is no enough platelets in the blood, body cannot form clots. She decided to induce pain once the count reaches 1 lakh. But when the scanning was done, fluid around the baby had started reducing. So the same night they induced pain. I was too much tired to bear the pain. 

On the delivery day, as the pain gradually increased and reached peak, I begged for the epidural. But I was told, it can't be given as platelets are low. At that moment, I felt it was my last day. After few minutes, I was rushed to the delivery room and within no time, I had delivered.

It was a moment of relief after so many days of suffering. I was like, "finally it's over, baby is out". The moment they showed the baby, tears rolled down! I felt proud and happy. My prayers were paid off. The baby looked healthy. Though later she was under observation for few hours, finally the doctor declared she has not contracted dengue. My second delivery was a nightmare which I can never forget in life! 

The Need Of Celebrating Festivals With Kids

"Why should we celebrate festivals mom?", My daughter's question made me wonder how would I answer her. Festivals remind me of joy, togetherness, colours, prayers, flowers, sweets, family lunch, new clothes and many more. There are so many festivals celebrated in India. Each one has its own value, its own reason to celebrate.
During normal days, we are all busy. From kids to elders no one can have a peaceful breakfast. Everyone have to rush to reach their schools or offices on time. Even during the night, kids have to go to bed early; husband comes late from the office, having dinner together is also becoming impossible. During the weekends works like grocery shopping, paying bills, washing clothes which are piled up in the laundry bag for the entire week, dusting the entire house, taking kids to the park in the evening, etc., takes the priority. And with the blink of eyes, Monday comes again!

May be our ancestors decided to celebrate festivals so that at least one day we all spend time together with our family, do prayers together, wear nice clothes, have sumptuous lunch, laugh and celebrate the togetherness and also appreciate the changes in nature, for example on makara sankranti, the sun begins his northward journey which indicates end of winter solstice and beginning of longer days. In the villages, on sankranti the first crop of the year is served to god. Holi is the time when the country welcomes spring season. Ugadi is the celebration of new year; we eat neem and jaggery which is indicative of the fact that life is mixture of sweetness and bitterness. Deepavali signifies victory of light over darkness. Dasara is the celebration of good over evil. 

It is important to celebrate festivals at home and involve kids in the preparations like festival shopping, cleaning the house, making rangoli, preparing food, etc., Kids should be made part of all possible rituals. We should encourage questions and answer them. Answering their queries about the traditions is important or else they may just ignore thinking of it as a superstitious belief. Every custom and tradition have a reason. The problem is we ourself doesn't know it. We can read related books, Google or ask our elders and get informed before explaining to kids. If we want our culture and traditions to be carried out to next generation, we must introduce them to kids in a way they understand better. In each house, festivals are celebrated in their own way. Parents should pass on these customs to kids. 

If we do not put an effort to encourage our kids to celebrate festivals, in near future our kids may find it only in some foreign author books just like yoga, which had been ignored by Indians and once foreign countries started practising it, Indians realised it's value. 

The Daycare Aunty

My daughter was 2.6 years old when I decided to leave her in daycare. It was in April 2014. She had to start her preschool in June and by August I had to join for work after completing my M.Tech viva. She needed time to adjust before August so, we sent her to daycare 4 months early. The changes were overwhelming for us but soon everything fell into place because of the "daycare aunty".

A friend suggested us a lady that was running a daycare for 15 years at her house. She had two girls to assist her. I cannot forget the day we met her. May be she was in her early 40's. She was wearing a cotton saree, big bindi and a broad smile. She spoke positively. There were kids of all age. Her house looked like one happy environment.

Initial three to four days my daughter cried badly melting my heart and making me feel guilty. But soon enjoyed going there. There were 3-4 kids of her age. Though she was happy, I would always ask her whether they feed her properly, will they scold her if she behaves mischievously, etc., 

But soon realized that aunty is very loving and caring. The lunch what I had sent was heated and given. Aunty gave me option of sending dosa, idly batter or chapati dough so that they prepare it fresh for my daughter. If she vomited or didn't eat, alternate food was given to her. Sometimes if I had sent jam or ketchup as sides, aunty would insist I should send sabzis as it is healthy. 

She would apply oil to my daughter's hair if it looked dry, gave head bath when it was smelly due to sweat. Many times, when my daughter was little sick, we were not able to send her to school but would send to daycare where she was given medicines at regular intervals and looked after well. Aunty never charged us extra for leaving the kid some extra hours. She would say, for genuine reasons she will not charge. 

In the evening due to work if I went late to pick, she would have already given milk and biscuits or hot dosas to my daughter for which we were not even paying. She took kids for a walk or to the park for playing.  My daughter became fond of aunty, her two girls and friends over there. She would ask me to pick her late as she can play for some more time. 

When I conceived my second baby aunty would tell me to ask for any kind of help without hesitation. Aunty never gave me any kind of stress. There are many wrong notions about daycare. Not all the daycare is the same. There are exceptions. I am lucky to get one. Now as I am at home after second delivery, my daughter miss aunty and her daycare.

Getting in touch with our roots

India is a country of villages . Most of us have our roots in villages. Our ancestors stayed in villages and agriculture was their main occupation. Later as years passed, people started migrating to towns and cities mainly in search of jobs or for children's education and settled permanently there. 

My father also migrated to a town for his business . But our childhood memory is full of going to our grandparents village and enjoying the whole summer vacation there. All the cousins used to come . We used to play day and night. We have enjoyed eating fresh fruits plucking it ourselves by climbing trees, swimming in the village pond, feeding cattles , accompanying grandparents to the paddy fields, having moonlight dinners, going to relatives houses and many more. Now also I want to go back to those golden days.

But I feel sad for this generation kids who do not have this luxury. It's rare that they get to see village life. Either their grandparents are in the same city or some nearby town. Even our kids have right to know about their roots. That is why me and my husband decided to take our kids to our village every year. Though my father in-law migrated from village long back, luckily his brother's family still stays there doing agriculture. Every year in dasara holidays we plan a trip to our village. We all together perform navarathri pooja at ancestral home. Our kids enjoy going to the farm, getting to know how different food items are grown, playing in the nearby river, interacting with cattles and other pet animals, having organic food, interacting with relatives and visiting family temple. They enjoy being close to nature. They enjoy watching sky in the night and counting stars which they cannot do in the city. After coming back they cherish those memories and eagerly wait for the next trip.